death can never do us apart
by thesweetsummerchilde
Summary: he had never thought about her dying, because to him, she was the happy ending. to him, her surviving was something obvious, something would surely happen. she was meant to be with him. he had never imagined a world without her. - thomesa


**Ratting:** **T because of bad language, angst, suicidal and violence**

 **Summary:** He had never thought about her dying, because to him, she was the happy ending. To him, her surviving was something obvious, something would surely happen. She was meant to be with him.

He had never imagined a world without her.

 **Author's Note:** So, when I was writing another oneshot - originally with a happy ending, I wanted to write a romantic oneshot, but then it turned out to be tragic. So, a thought in my mind popped up: "Why not just write this sad?". In result, I got this. Enjoy! Reviews mean the world to me too :3

 **Side Note (Updated 07/26/2015)** : I wrote this when I was in secondary school. Looking back now, it has been three years already! A long way. I no longer am obsessed with Thomesa as I did, but my twelve-year-old self was really proud of this piece of work! To honor that, I decided not to fix to much and let this stay as original as possible.

 **Disclaimer:** **I am the owner of** **Maze Runner Trilogy** **. It turns out Thomas chooses Teresa over Brenda. That is the real ending. But then I wake up and realize I am** **NOT** **James Dashner. What a shame.**

* * *

Thomas wasn't a poet. He was no musician, either. So he didn't know how to express his emotions properly. Neither did he know how to transform them into something rhythmetic, philosophical and/or entertaining way. So instead, Thomas chose a traditional and simple way: Screaming.

It wasn't singing, he had to admit, but it wasn't harmful either. But that insensitive klunkhead Minho knew nothing at all. Nothing. Not only he didn't sympathize with Thomas, but Minho had to "gently" tell Tom that he was hurting everyone and they eardrums and he had to stop torturing people and blah blah blah...

Having no other things to do, Thomas roams around the paradise, hoping the beautiful scenery would ease him down. But instead, it only made him feel horrible and guilty for being here. Many people were supposed to be here. They deserve to be here. But they aren't. Chuck, Newt,... Teresa...

Teresa Agnes

The last name made him shudder. A huge wave of regret filled his heart. Teresa...

The childhood friend of him. She tried every way to save him, or so she said. She desperately wanted him to forgive her. Thomas shook his head. If only he had told her that he forgave her, maybe she wouldn't have died. Or maybe she would, still die, but not feeling so hurtful. And that was just a tiny bit of what Teresa had done for him, despite the way he treated her. And now she was gone. Gone, and still think he hates her.

Thomas shook his head again. There were so many kinds of regret, and somehow he had a weird feeling that he wad going through all of them. He felt remorse about never telling her he forgave her, and he loved her. For not helping her getting out of the stupid chunk of ceiling. She was only three footsteps away from safe heaven, and he left her there, running for his life... Shit. What the hell happens to him?

Deep down, Thomas knew there was only one explanation for everything happened to him.

Everyone thought his feeling for Teresa was a phase, or they were just best friend. Once he thought so too. But he was proven to be deadly wrong. If only he thought about her randomly and frequently, if only he didn't feel so wrong...

But Thomas knows they were more than friends. He may have lost his memories, he may not know many thing out there in the world, but he was sure that friends do NOT have the kind of feeling he had for Teresa. Friends share each other's secret. Sure. Friends tease. Nothing unusual. Friends be there for you when you need. No big deal.

But Thomas was pretty positive that friends do NOT have that kind of spark in their eyes when they look at each other. Friends don't blush when their skin touch. Friends definitely do NOT want to kiss. That kind of feeling is just simply not for a friend, even for a best best best friend, or for your once-a-crush. That was for lover - that deep feeling.

"But she was gone..." - Thomas reminded himself. No matter how much he regret or love, he was no god. He couldn't bring her back. He had to move on. She would not sacrifice herself, just for him to be here mourning over her death. She died for him to happy.

Trying his crap out to keep his mind away from his childhood friend a.k.a the love he had just recently found and, ironically, lost at the same time, Thomas looked down from where he was sitting.

The cliff was so high, at least from where he was. It seemed like the paradise was placed on a plateau, since from his point to the valley down there was a great height. It was steep and rocky - straight from the paradise down. The river down there lookes so small, just like a white stream - the colour stood out from the color grey of the rock.

This place had a special effect on him somehow. Maybe because it looked tragically like the hole back in the maze. Or because noone know this place. Or just simply because Thomas himself likes to be in danger. Being in danger and risking his life was something kinda familiar to him, that it felt weirdly empty when he was safe and sound.

Thomas carefully moved to the edge of the cliff, so it was still safe and interesting at the same time. His legs swang dangerously out the thin air - The cold air was really refreshing. There was even the smell of flowers. He smiled sadly. This place truly was a paradise. The only unfairness is that many of his friends couldn't be here, and it was because of him. Chuck died of the knife Gally threw at his chest. But originally, Gally was trying to kill _him_. Newt died of the bullet Thomas shot at his head. Teresa died of the ceiling crushed her body. It would have crashed _him._ Two out of three sacrificed for him. The other was killed by him.

He remembered Chuck with the dagger in his chest, blood streamed out the wound, dyeing a corner red. It was Newt with his buggling eyes when Thomas pulled the trigger, a bullet right in his head, ended his life.

Trigger. End.

Oh no. No no no no no, not those words.

Too late. They had already reminded him of Teresa, once again.

It was like a cruel trick fate played on him, his memories started to come back. It was nothing new to him - ever since he came to the paradise, memories haunted him every day and night. But they always choose the right time to fill back. They come back when he tried to forget her, forget their time together. These memories are just like a reminder, showing him a sweet peaceful life he had - and possibly would have had - just to steal them away.

Thomas wondered if Teresa ever felt like this when the ceiling crashed on her. The situations aren't exactly the same, but in common, they all are the hopelessness, the anger to see everything which was rightfully yours fading away. She'd suffered a hell lot, even more than him. She deserves to be here just like he did.

Thomas quickly shoved the thought away. No, Teresa was the most selfless girl he'd ever seen in his miserable life. "Remember shuckface, she died to save _you._ " - He mentally murmured. She'd traded her life for his. He knows how much bravery and selflessness it took to sacrifice yourself for a person, especially if that peson was an asshole to you. He hadn't seen anyone who loves someone else that much.

But then, wasn't he angry at Aris ever since? Wasn't he crying his eyes out every night? In some way, he just loves her as much as she did.

That just made him even more guilty, for Brenda. He was using her to pay back for Teresa hurting him. And when she was gone, how many time had he closed his eyes and pretend the girl he was kissing was Teresa? He, more than anyone else, knows brown hair can't turn to black. Brown eyes can't turn to burning blue. Rosy skin can't turn to pearl white. Brenda can never be Teresa. But he wanted to keep the girl he love lively in his mind, not a faded imagine of a dead...

Her sweet voice played in his head like a broken song.

 _"Ah, my knight in shining armour. What, you don't think I can fend for myself?"_

 _"Forgetting yourself is the worst part"_

 _"I kind of accepted it, in a way. That saving you was worth losing everything we might've had"_

 _"I only ever cared for..."_

All those words spun around his head. Pictures of her started to show in his mind. Memories played nonstop. It was as if he had to relive all these moments again. Not that it was bad... It was just, so heart-breaking...

Thomas saw two kids playing video game, the girl victoriously spun around, while the boy just sat in an Indian style, rolling his eyes. He couldn't hear what they were saying, though.

The room stayed the same, but the kids faded away. Video games were replaced by books, earphones and laptops. Tom watched the boy grow taller, so tall that the girl could only reach his chin. He watched the girl have her curves, changing into a beautiful lass. Thomas couldn't help but noticed that though the scenes changed, there was one thing stay the same. Whenever or wherever they were, they were together. Like the promise they had made.

But she broke it. She left.

"You lied! You broke your promise! You left!" - Thomas suddenly broke out. He couldn't keep the pressured painful feeling in his chest anymore.

"You always, always lie to me! It's what you always do, ain't it? Teresa... You... lied..."

He buried his face in his palms. Tears streamed down his face. One teardrop fell on the grass. In the sunlight, the waterdrop sparkled, reflected the blue sky and yellow sundrop. Two, three tears dropped. Four, five, six, seven,...

 _If tear could make wishes come true, then I would probably have you with me by now..._

Thomas smiled bitterly. Not only tear... Not just tear... He would give up all the world, just to see those burning blue eyes again.

How funny he could only say so eloquently in his head, and

Thomas had never thought that Teresa may die, because to him, she was the happy ending. To him, her surviving was something obvious, something had to happen. She was meant to be by his side. He had never imagined a world without her, a life where she doesn't exist. And the great, merciful fate just HAD to take her away. Just great.

See? He could only talk like that after everything has come clean. And usually that means late.

Thomas looked up the sky. He knew it was crystal clear, but through his blurry eyes, everything was a smudge. To him, the sky was deadly grey, like in the maze when Teresa triggered the End.

"Ain't no sunshine, when she's gone..."

Teresa... Teresa was in heaven. In paradise. The _real_ paradise.

Thomas blinked. Once, then twice. He knew just what to do, to reunite with her.

A small part from the back of his brain screamed out that he was _insane_ and he had to wake up and there was no way to see her ever again. But Thomas had determined, and he would NOT be bother, by everyone ever again. Ever.

And with that thought, Thomas gently changed the position. There was no going back now. But he couldn't care less.

Tom felt wind caressing his skin. That left a cold feeling and some moist on his cheeks, but in general, the whole thing was comfortable, and wickedly right. Like he should have done this a _long_ time ago. The sound of water waving got louder and louder, until they blended into a mixtape of thousand noises.

This is it. He would finally meet her again. They would beaten death, and never be seperate again. Ever.

Something like a smile finally formed in the corner of his lips. After all, death can never seperate them apart.

* * *

 _ **The End.**_

 _ **Oh, and one more thing: I was inspired by the song**_ _ **Lucy**_ _ **by**_ _ **Skillet**_ _ **. Just saying.**_

 _ **Anyway, read and review! I know this fic is bad (It's my first one), but please... review? Pretty please with a cherry on top?**_


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